I really feel I need to be inpatient for a long duration of time. Yet I know it won't change my feelings. (How do you /know/?) Because I tried it. It also won't help those around me, that care, which is the only thing I care about, even if my mind has a barrier surrounding that. So what's the point exactly of me going into a full time care facility then. I cause the people I love pain in a different way. I don't get help I need (can't get) and they don't get to connect with me, as they have voiced they want to do so much.
The rest of my day will be spent unwillingly organizing the paper piles in my room to find all my pay stubs from my last job to get my unemployment paperwork fixed tomorrow.
And then going through my old blogs to find a quote I know is in one of my writings but not sure which. This involves going through about five hundred posts/drafts throughout fifteen different blogs I've had.
Selfish, and chaotic, and so very, very tired.
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